Who's the #1 Stunna?

So, one of my bestest friends in the whole wide world and I constantly get to talking about things that are going to happen in our future lives and the one topic that always comes up is our future respective weddings. Yeah, yeah, yeah... we know we need to date first. But whatever.

Anyway, she has this overwhelming desire to be introduced at the reception and come out to, ...wait for it..., "#1 Stunna" by Mannie Fresh (I think!). Anybody who knows me knows that I so cannot condone this behavior. Call me all prim and proper if you want, but I just couldn't co-sign on this being the first song played after she and her new husband are introduced for the first time anywhere.

So, I agreed to take a poll. You see, we take an outside poll on everything we disagree about. So, I ask you. Can she come out to "#1 Stunna" cuz at the end of the day it's her wedding? Or do I let her know that she is a beautiful, educated, self-respecting black woman and that song is so not how she wants to represent the beginning of her marriage?

So far I've got 2 votes for HELL.TO.THE.NAW!! Including mine!

Whaddayathink?

F.A.T.

Fabulous.And.Thick.
I want to own that word. Not give it the negative connotation it's held over me for 28 years. Right now, it ain't working.

Lately, for some odd reason, I've been kind of body obsessed.

A little background - I've been a big girl my whole life. And I do mean my whole life. I was the baby with those chubby cheeks that everybody wanted to pinch (still have them - thanks DAD!). I was always the fat girl in class. It bothered me when I was younger because what little kid wants to be teased. But I slowly grew out of that and learned to love me for who I am. All 40+BMI of me (you didn't really think you were going to get my actual weight did ya?). It's not really helping that I'm reading a book that's supposed to keep it real about black women and body image. I had to skip one entire chapter because it tried to correllate obesity with sexual abuse. It gave me a headache.

I'm not sure I have an excuse for constantly gaining weight. I like to eat. I hate to exercise. You need reasoning - there it is. But as I slowly start to approach the big 3-0, I have to start to seriously be concerned about my weight and my health. Not to mention, I have not been looking like my fabulous self in photos and that's a scary thing.

I've gained the reputation as a "diva" of sorts. People expect me to look and act absoulute FABULOUS. I expect me to maintain that reputation. But I just don't feel it. I look in the mirror and I don't see it. I'm not sure if my self doubt shows on the outside but I sho nuff feel it on the inside.

There are only 2 times I've lost weight in my life. The first was when I pledged and the second was my half-hearted attempt at Weight Watchers. It can be done. The question is can I do it?