My prudish ways...

*I wrote this post sometime last week. Couldn't decide if I really wanted to post it. Ah, fuck it. I could always change my mind and delete it, right?!*

It's funny really.

Way back when, when I was still a virgin, I always tried to talk myself out of wanting to have sex. Figured, I couldn't miss what I never had. That was my story and I was sticking to it. Until, one of my bestest friends, also pure at the time, busted my bubble and called me out on that slice of bullshit.

Yeah, you can miss it. Even if you've never had it. You can be curious about it. Wonder what it's like and how you like it. Wonder whether or not you'd actually be good at it. Cuz I can talk shit when I go bowling because I know there's a strike coming eventually. But what if you suck at sex. Can you really come back from that? As if I wasn't self conscious enough.

I say all that to say that now that I have had it, I still miss it. But it's worse now because, fuck, I know the feeling that I'm missing. It's creeping in my dreams and making my days long and my nights longer. I'm having sleepless nights, can't concentrate at work. In a word (or two!): this sucks!

One of my girls would recommend a trip to the village so that I can help myself. I'm still quasi-prudish. Not ready to go there just yet. But dammit, something's gotta give.